Meredith Lepore
IQ gets all the fame. It has Albert Einstein as a poster child and it
just sounds so, well, smart. But your EQ, your emotional intelligence,
is so important as well but sometimes we don’t realize it. Your
Emotional Intelligence accounts for 58 percent of performance in all
types of jobs! Also studies have found that 90 percent of high
performers are also high in Emotional Intelligence and that every point
increase in EI increases annual salary by $1,300 on average.
Plus, a high IQ is less important when it comes to leadership skills.
That is where your EQ really comes into play. EQ addresses how we
perceive and understand our own emotions and the emotions of others. And
then we get into Behavior Emotional Intelligence (BEQ) which is the
evolution of that awareness; it is our ability to use EQ to manage
personal behavior and relationships.
We talked with Casey Mulqueen, Ph.D., Director of Research &
Product Development for The TRACOM Group, one of the nation’s top
leadership development companies. They have developed a proven BEQ
training program used by many Fortune 100 and 500 companies from all around the world. Mulqueen wrote an entire white paper on the subject called, “ “Behavioral EQ: Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work.” Here are a few of her best tips so you can get your EQ in check.
1. Control your behavior by understanding your emotions.
Learn and understand your emotional triggers — the things that result in losing behavioral control.
This is invaluable for understanding the situations and emotions that
you experience just prior to losing control of your behavior.
Understanding emotions is important for learning how to manage your
behavior.
2. Mentally rehearse common situations that set off your emotional triggers.
Research shows that when you mentally rehearse scenarios, you are
activating the same neural circuitry that is activated when you are
actually in the scenario. Instead of responding the way you typically
have in the past, imagine yourself acting in a more productive way.
Develop a mental “movie” of yourself and clearly imagine yourself
behaving in the ways you want. This will help prepare you for when these
situations actually occur. You will have a script to follow.
3. Force your brain into action by solving a problem.
Actively distracting yourself is an effective way to maintain
self-control. If you are suddenly in a situation where you are feeling
anger or frustration, for instance, shift your focus from the other
person or situation to a mental problem. Make the problem challenging.
For example, work out the solution to 15 x 18. This will force your
brain to focus on the math problem and away from the stressful
situation. The old adage that you should count to ten is not effective.
The reason is that it is too easy and, therefore, does not actively
engage the brain. Distracting yourself with a difficult problem is an
effective strategy for avoiding an emotional reaction. It is not
important to solve the problem correctly.
The point is to engage the brain region that solves problems, thereby
preventing the emotional center of your brain from flooding the
bloodstream with adrenalin and other stress hormones that cause strong
emotional reactions.
4. Engage in healthy escapism.
If it is too hard to find a mental problem to solve, another form of
distraction is to actively let your attention shift to a pleasant
memory. You can sing a song in your mind, think of your favorite place
or activity, a funny TV show, whatever works best for you. Similar to
solving a problem, this will engage your mind and prevent the amygdala
from taking control and causing a strong emotional reaction.
Think of this as a healthy form of mental escapism.
Read the full article online!
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